I Wanna See You Be Brave

Today was a day of firsts. Maybe 5 or 6 years overdue, but nonetheless.

Rowen got his hair cut today at a hair salon.

Before you yawn at the seemingly mundane details of this, consider the long and bumpy road it took us to get there. So much so that I admit to crying on the way to the salon. Happy tears. I surprised even myself. I didn't know it was coming, but it was there. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

Listening to Sara Bareilles' song "Brave" on repeat didn't help stop the flow. Rowen was brave after 7 years of haircutting torment and tears and screams (many from me) from trying to cut his hair in our kitchen. Think sensory issues, being out-of-his controlled-element, and shiny scissors near his ears. I had finally talked him into going to a salon to get his hair cut. Phew It helped that my incredible friend, Carly, was his stylist and had graciously come to our house before to cut his hair a couple times. He knew her and felt safe letting her go at it.

I figured it would be a one-time thing so I could get some pointers on how to better style his wild hair. He is very particular about it, and I definitely think he likes it long in the front to help him "hide" a little. So no faux-mohawks or spikey do's for this guy.

To my surprise though, he loved it! Another Phew! He said he would come back again! Whoa! It didn't hurt that Carly got him a free pop at the end. It was like a trip to the circus! Well, kind of. Ok, so not really, but it might as well have been the way he reacted.

No it wasn't perfect, but it went better than I could have asked for. Yes, in the mere 10 minutes we sat in the waiting room I had to ask Rowen to calm down, get off the floor, and-my personal favorite- stop grabbing your crotch (I mean, really grabbing it. Although in his defense he simply thought it was super cool how the fabric felt when it was stretched out- and yes he was doing the splits on the couch. I actually had to say "No Rowen, I will not grab your crotch and feel it too." Jeez, does that ever sound bad. The things that I actually hear myself saying sometimes...).

So here we are, one lovely haircut later and he is happy. I am happy. Yay for us. And these lyrics show how big Rowen's brave is. He did it.

Take that autism.

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And if you have a moment, take a look at the video. It will inspire. Maybe Rowen will too if you think of him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=QUQsqBqxoR4

Did You Know Batman's Cape Is All Wrong?

Rowen has never been a "toy" kid. Birthdays and Christmases have always been pretty easy, though I tend to make them more complicated than they should be. The big hit for his birthday was a heated blanket (that he cranks up to high every night and then begs and pleads to wear shorts during a Polar Vortex) and among the many wonderful Christmas gifts he received he seems to be enjoying his mattress topper. Yes, he is not a "toy" kid.

So imagine my surprise when today at the grocery store, Rowen ventured down the torture- er, I mean, toy aisle and desperately wanted a batman figurine. The last figurine I remember him getting was around age 3 when a friend of his was into Power Rangers. He HAD to have one so off we went on a Power Ranger hunt. I will never forget when I looked in the backseat to see Rowen in his little car seat holding the little figurine in front of him with absolutely no clue what to do with it. I never saw that Power Ranger in his hands again.

So today when Rowen was so stoked about a Batman figurine, I admit to being a little curious. After negotiating a deal that I would pay half if he could figure out what "half" was (which he did- smart kid!), he went home happily with the Dark Knight.

He would set him up somewhere, and just get excited to have him. No flying. No saving the world. No Batman talk. Just propped up somewhere with a smiling Rowen looking on. Good enough for me.

Not long after though, I heard Rowen upset in his room. I went up to see what was wrong and he was getting angry with his Batman figurine for not standing up by itself and for the cape being all wrong.

"You see his cape?" Rowen screamed through tears, slamming Batman up and down in an ill-fated effort to get him to stand up on his own. "This one side touches the bottom and the other side is up a little. And he WON'T STAND UP!"

Face red and crying, I tried calming him by fashioning a custom Batman stand out of play dough, but it just wasn't good enough.

"My brain is so stupid!" he cried. "My brain always thinks things this way and it won't stop! I guess I just like people more than toys."

"Well, that's what's special about you. You see things other people don't," I said.

Nice thought, though I could tell he wasn't fully buying. I would take what I could get though to get him back on track and calmed down. I added a hair rub into the mix to seal the deal.

Batman needed to vacate the premises. His cape is all wrong.

I do love that Rowen has a special way of thinking, but I also know it can be stressful for him. It's always hard to hear how he feels like something is wrong with him or his favorite, "my brain is stupid."

It's a stressful thing for us too, dealing with the high negative energy and hoping he doesn't really grow up thinking he's stupid. I hope instead he embraces his differences and figures out how to deal with them, and also how to love them. If only we had a little help from the Dark Knight himself. If only they would make an OCD-version of Batman...