The Autism Monster

Cake? Check.

Birthday candles? Check.

Overwhelmed and anxious boy from too much social interaction? Double check, and check please!

Planning a celebration for a few family birthdays along with my brother's big-time military promotion to Warrant Officer (bragging a little here), I knew that one piece of the puzzle would be questionable at best. The boogie man in our closet: the autism monster.

"Rowen, we are going out to eat next week with grandma, Richard, Jennifer, Matt, McKenna, Eme," (pause to take a breath), "Jason, Dawn, Alyce, Trent, Greg, Peter, Cindy, Marsha"-er wait a second.

So the list was long and I knew the questions would follow.

"Is Kenna going to wear a pretty dress? How many people are going to be there again? Where will I sit? Can I take my animals with me? I don't think there will be enough chairs."

I could see the anxiety arise as we crept closer and closer to the big day. It was as if Jaws himself would pounce out of the wall and eat us all alive.

I sat at the far end of the table with Rowen, joined by my brave sister who tried to chat Rowen up. Problem was, he wasn't buying. Just as the waitress leaned over to say hey, I could hear Rowen in my ear feeding the autism monster. By the time my short conversation with the waitress was over, I turned to look into the eyes of a different boy. His face was red and his expression was tight with anger. He clenched his teeth and started lashing out. It was a fast change as if crazy superman burst out of the phone booth in record time. Here was my Rowen, falling prey to autism.

Luckily, it passed without many even noticing. I guess that's the beauty of a loud, crowded restaurant when your child is about to explode and rocket to the moon. I am not proud of the way I handled it either. My own anxiety pops up to meet his and I start to lose it myself. You'd think I'd know better by now, but the frustration of the moment still sidelines me at times.

These outbursts have become less and less as Rowen learns to handle his fears, but that rare occasion when the autism monster pops in to say hello is still a little rough. But Rowen soon got over his fears and was able to finally enjoy the evening. And so did I.