So Adderall. I like you. You may in fact be one of my best friends. At first I was really scared of you and thought we would never get along, and now I would score you on the streets if I had to.
Needless to say, the Adderall is working for Rowen. We are all a little more sane in our house lately. And thank goodness Rowen seems to feel so much better. He still struggles with anxiety and anger/frustration control, but I am no longer amassing some serious bank in an off-shore account for when I finally lose it and need to vacate the country.
Not one week ago, a little self-medication may not have been so far off the beaten path for my downtrodden self. Now hold the phone a minute. I am super Christian nice girl and would never really do that (except for the occasional overdose on anything that starts with the word "Hershey's"), but Christian or not I don't think anyone can escape these thoughts when listening to Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers.
So let's get/To the point/Let's smoke/Another joint
Let's head on down the road/There's somewhere/I gotta go
You don't know how it feels/No you don't know how it feels/
You don't know how it feels/To be meeeeeeeeeeee
Is that all that guy sings about? Geez. A digression...
But seriously, the worst thing I think I've ever done is go out with my fellow uber-Christians (love you guys!) in my old Bible study group (yes, I know) and toilet paper our pastor's house (again, I know-and by the way, he knew). Another digression-this time in the form of confession I guess. At any rate, I'm just saying it's been tough around here.
But say no more, I think we've finally found our help. The weather changing has also been a game changer, which I'm sure most of you can attest to as well. Now that we are past the impulsiveness that gives Rowen such a hard time, I will say the anxiety has become the focus recently. Most nights I have a 6-year-old in a sleeping bag next to our bed. A lot of dramatic 6-year-old friendship issues have arisen. It does break my heart. I've seen too many tears from this boy.
So despite a better atmosphere in this house, he could still use some prayers. We all can. Especially for direction. I am still thinking about homeschooling (I know I just got a bunch of cross-eyed looks) but it may be our best option. I just wish God held up a sign for me that gave me complete and very specific instructions on how to spend every second of every day of every week of every year. I don't think that's too much to ask, right?
And don't worry, I am not listening to Tom Petty that much. I only pull out the album to hear Mary Jane once in awhile.
There are excellent groups to help you make the decision about home school. Tommy and I tried it when he was in fourth grade. I have mixed feelings. He was not the kind of kid to appreciate home school. I do know he learned one thing. He is responsible for what he learns. No one can or will do it for him. I credit that school year as a turning point for him. Please consider the social aspect in his quest for friends. There are groups that you can get with (small numbers) that may be better for Rowen than a classroom. Good luck with the decision.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that, Mary! So you tried it too? Yes, it's a tough decision and it's been weighing on me for years. I'll figure it out someday I hope! ha!
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