Don't Change a Thing

I think we are holding our own. Every time I say that, however, I hold my breath and wait for the next boom to come. But lately I've been able to settle into a new idea. An idea that holds the possibility of change. For good.

I think all parents have their stories. Stories of success and failure. Stories of their kids learning something new and stumbling across their own two feet. Stories of the strange things they are bound to say to others that make us laugh or embarrass the crap out of us. In our case, it usually involves our boys giving some kind of reference to their junk (still).

But overall they've made us laugh lately- a lot. Just yesterday Lane went up to a lady and her baby on the playground and started a rant about how he thinks crabs are stupid. A boy can have his opinion, I guess. And Rowen. Rowen is constantly flexing his biceps and kissing them and asking us if he's the strongest.

Out kids are funny, crazy and the sweetest things we've ever known. And they're just that. Kids. Compared to a year ago, I feel as though we've entered a new realm where kids are kids and we don't have to tend to the pangs of autism every minute of every day (and night). We've worked and slaved to find a solution that works and I think we've stumbled upon gold- or as close to gold as we'll ever get around here. Not perfection, but close enough.

I took Rowen into a new pediatrician last week and braced myself for the crazy things that might come out of his mouth the second the door flew open and the doctor walked in. Instead, the doc sauntered in and sat next to Rowen and they had a chat about school, his coming birthday, and Batman. It was a little- ok a lot- different than any time before. I think we probably owe retribution to several other docs for emotional scars we left before.

And then came some very sweet words. "If I didn't know he had a diagnosis, I wouldn't know the difference," his doc said. "Don't change a thing."

Wow. Don't change a thing. That's a first for us. It's been nearly 7 years of "do this" or "do that" because you suck and he needs more help, yadda yadda yadda.

So I think I might do just that: not change a thing. For now. Yes, he still struggles but I am certain that these are struggles that many parents face. Rowen has been less anxious about school though that's not perfect either. Just today he burst into tears before school recalling how yesterday he'd asked his friend to make room for him at the lunch table and his friend wouldn't. I just hugged him and we went through the plan of finding other friends to sit with (which is exactly what he had done!). A small reminder and he felt better. After all, he was prepared because he's been working on that one for weeks.

I admit to not loving the continued reliance on an antipsychotic medication to make this reality happen (for him, not me- yeah, yeah I know what you were thinking), but for now I think I will just sit back and watch him grow no matter how it comes. I'm not going to change a thing.