Bye Bye Summer, Hello Throw Up

So here we are at the end of August already. School is back in session and I am officially the mom of a first-grader and a first-time preschooler. Rowen is at school all day every day and Lane hits the books (or should I say play-dough?) in the mornings four days a week. I think I was more sad than Lane to see him off to his classroom. He'd been wearing his book bag at home a whole week prior to school and when I dropped him off, he didn't even look back to say goodbye. He was more than ready.

You might have an inkling that Rowen is a different story. His first day we only had a few tears, but every day since has opened the floodgates of red-faced cries both at bedtime and in the mornings. He cried so much this morning that he hid under our bed, thinking I'd be none too wise to find him. Once I coaxed him out and got him to take a few bites of a peach, the anxiety came full circle. I turned just in time to catch him throwing up all over the kitchen floor. Mind you, this wasn't just a few bites of peach (WARNING: Graphic in nature!), this was breakfast, juice, all his meds, and I think dinner from the night before. Afterward, he kept saying he was sorry but then a hint of a smile came across his face after the mother of all revelations hit him. "I guess I can't go to school then," he said, feigning sadness.

I looked from him to the massive pile of... you know... and thought, hmm, I guess this kid has a point. I wasn't sure of the protocol from a kid throwing up purely from anxiety versus an actual illness so I called it in. Just as I thought, they encouraged me to take him in which I was relieved to hear. I don't want an encore presentation of this just because it looks like the magic ticket out of school.

So he strapped his Batman book bag on, loaded up his lunchbox, and we headed out- after a gargle of mouthwash. After several requested prayers and hugs, he disappeared inside the building. I had promised Lane I would take him to the zoo today since it was his day off of school. I hesitated, wanting to be nearby if I got a call, but figured we had to stick with the plan.

Despite my heavy heart for Rowen, I did enjoy Lane time at the zoo.

He ran ahead of me like he always does, but surprisingly instead of going into banana-crazy psycho anxiety mode, I was relaxed. Funny, I always thought it was Lane running too far ahead of me that bothered me. I realized today though that it's actually the 6-year-old by my side that I worry more for. In his absence, I didn't have to fret about how he'd react if I had to chase after my wayward preschooler. Usually Rowen goes ballistic and either freaks that I've separated a tiny micro-bit from him or he takes it upon himself to loudly scold Lane and grab at him like a wildebeest. This is not to say that I wouldn't have wanted Rowen there. There was of course a void knowing he is always by my side. Here's to hoping we'll both make it through this year.

Oh, and by the way, we appealed the denial made by Franklin County to detract our funding for Rowen's therapies and we won! Rowen gets to keep meeting with his beloved OT, Ms. Cindy. That's cause for celebration!